Being An Overly Self Conscious Person..

Being An Overly Self Conscious Person..

Hey guys,

Today’s post is going to be a little bit more on the personal side. I wanted to share with you all something I have dealt with my entire life and am still currently dealing with which is being a very self conscious person. Of course, we all feel self conscious now and then but the way I feel it is on an extreme level and not only does it affect so many parts of my life negatively but it leads to feelings of anxiety, low motivation and low self esteem. I guess these days I have been struggling with it way more than I previously have which kind of motivated me to write this post.

Not Being Able To Be Myself

I can count on one hand the number of people I have in my life that I am truly myself with. It is not that I don’t want to be myself around people, it is more that my self consciousness makes me so aware of how others are seeing me that I end being an awkward mess. It is truly so frustrating going through life not being able to be yourself because these irrational fears inside of me do not allow me to.

Changing My Personality

I always feel the need to change my personality depending on who I am with which is so unhealthy. Maybe because I feel this strong urge to fit in and be liked by everyone that I assume by acting like those around me, I will be more likely to be accepted by them. So basically I will act differently around my family and differently around my friends but what happens when those two groups of people come together- who am I supposed to act like then? It is actually really messed up and elevates feelings of anxiety in me in situations that to a normal person would be completely stress free.

Feeling Of Self-Hatred

I truly believe in the importance of loving yourself, however; I have noticed that due to my negative self conscious emotions, if I ever embarrass my self in social situations or feel awkward, my self esteem becomes really low and I really start hating myself. I will often get thoughts of just being anybody else in the entire world than myself. I respond to these situations with feelings of hostility towards others and isolate myself. I also get feelings of jealousy towards those who are more confident in themselves and even constantly comparing myself to others and subconsciously putting myself down and of course, eventually these feelings of self hatred start to affect every part of my life negatively. I get demotivated, feel worthless and I am constantly feeling super anxious.

Being Overly Quiet In Social Situations

I have always been a somewhat shy/reserved person but often times in social situations, I become super quiet especially if I am around people who I do not feel comfortable with. Even if I have something to say, I will have to think 10 times before actually saying it because I am afraid that Iย  will say something stupid or make a fool out of myself. My head is only filled with thoughts what others are thinking of me which in turn just affects me negatively because to others I probably come across as a super unfriendly person when the reality is far from that!

Not Knowing Who I Am

‘Who am I?’- a question I find myself asking a lot- because when my brain is too occupied with what others think of me and how I should be acting instead of how I want to be acting- I forget who I actually am. It is actually quite scary because I want to find myself andย  I want to know what kind of person I truly am so that I can find people who I truly fit in with and who will accept me for who I am. As sad as it sounds, I guess I have gone through my life till now not knowing who I am and is something but is definitely something I want to work on actively.

I hope this post did not come across as overly depressing haha, but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all as I want to start sharing more of my personal side and struggles with you all here on my blog. Perhaps some of you who also are super self conscious about themselves like me could relate to this and if so, just know that you are not alone!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!



50 comments found

  1. Thanks for sharing that’s really brave of you! I can definitely relate to not being myself because I can only count 1 or 2 people in my life i’m fully able to be my truth self around. I feel super self conscious about how i’m perceived and overthink most of my social interactions. But hopefully it doesn’t have to be like this for us forever! x

    1. Yes, thatโ€™s what keeps me going! I wanna live in a way where I am 100% myself no matter who I am with and it definitely scares me to think that what if I never reach that point, I am working on it! Thanks for sharing your side as well lovely! ๐Ÿ’—

  2. I think the sad part is not the fact people are self conscious but the thought that someone may have said something or done something in the past to the person to make them self conscious, people can say/do hurtful things without realising and not think how it’s going to affect someone else. I know it’s hard but don’t change for anyone else, be yourself and do what you feel is what and what makes you happy because at the end of the day your happiness is the most important to you, other people can help make you happy but I’m sure you’re the one who has your best interest at heart the largest amount of time. Social situations are so nerve wracking but find somebody you know and sit by them if you can, if more people join in it gives you a reason to say hello and helps you feel more included in conversations. Even giving the person whose talking eye contact or laughing at the appropriate moment is enough ๐Ÿ™‚ We all go through stages of not knowing who we are but depending on each person they will be different, for example I know that I am smart and prefer staying in to going out and I’ve got strong morals and know what I want but I don’t know where my career is headed, it’s scary but trust that everything will be okay and work itself out xx

    1. Thanks so much for this comment! It really helps a lot!
      I actually agree with you because those few people who I am myself with, when I am with them, I feel confident in myself but unfortunately other situation make me feel completely out of place and just like I donโ€™t fit it!
      I will definitely incorporate these tips as I am trying to overcome this thing!
      Yes, I guess there will always be things in out life that we havenโ€™t quite completely figured out, it can be quite stressful but just leaving it to God helps so much! ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

  3. I can relate a lot to the โ€œNot Knowing Who I Amโ€. I was in a quite toxic friendship and was always self conscious about myself , Iโ€™ve now left that friendship and have gained a lot of confidence and am now surrounding myself with good friends who I can be myself around. Being self conscious sucks ๐Ÿ™

    1. Ugh it really does, especially when there isnโ€™t even a reason for it. Somehow it is just embedded in your brain haha!
      Iโ€™m glad you got out of that toxic friendship, thanks for sharing! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’—

  4. I can so relate to this! Especially being overly quiet and not myself in social situations. Itโ€™s as if I canโ€™t leave my own head because Iโ€™m over thinking everything! Iโ€™m so thankful for the growth that Iโ€™ve seen in myself this past year to be more confident in who I am! (And also learning to seek out smaller groups of people ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Omg yes! That is exactly how I feel! ๐Ÿ˜ซ
      I am so glad to hear that you have become more confident in yourself and really hope I can reach that point too! xx

  5. This is something I struggle with too. I find myself not even saying a word when I’m surrounded by a group of people, especially now in my new job where I don’t know anyone. I find myself worrying so much about what people think of me, but it’s good to know that I’m not alone! I loved this post and think it’s great that other people can read and learn that this affects so many people x

    1. I can totally relate girl! Iโ€™m sorry that you feel that way, it can be even worse when you are surrounded by new people!
      I know, it definitely makes me feel better to know others out there feel the same way! ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

  6. It so brave of you to share this because it reassures people that they might feel like that too and so in turn it might make people feel better about themselves, but some of these points are so relatable to me!

  7. You’re not alone with this, I also struggle being in situations with large amounts of people.
    It’s so nice to read this and feel like others feel the same way.

    Alys /

  8. I can definitely relate to this post. I used to be really self conscious when I was in high school – always being careful of how I acted and essentially having two different sides of me , the real me I am with my friends and then the other me I am when Iโ€™m not with my friends (if that makes sense). In university, I just graduated, thatโ€™s where I think I found myself in a better headspace and embracing my personality 24/7 not just for when I am around people I know, but there are times I feel myself reserving my personality.


  9. I can totally relate to this post, self consciousness is something that I have also struggled with in time past, especially being quiet in social functions ( This I still do!) But I’ve been able to accept my flawsome self, even though I might still act awkward at times.
    Ps- it’s great that you shared this on the blog, it helps more us of gather our confidence. Welldone!

    Mide ||

    1. Thanks so much! Means a lot!
      Same here, for some reason more so at family functions haha!
      I have definitely come a long in accepting myself but definitely have still a lot of work to do! ๐Ÿ’•

  10. Thank you so much for sharing your personal journey. I have struggled with some of these themes throughout my life, and it is always a challenge. I feel that sharing stories like these are important for the world as a whole. It is so easy to ignore the fact that each person we come across has their own story, and their own struggles, and society needs to stop doing that, and take the time to meet each person where they are at, without judgment.

    1. Totally agree! Itโ€™s so true that so many of us struggle with stuff and I feel like sharing it as hard as it might always makes you feel so much better!
      Thanks for reading! ๐Ÿ˜˜

  11. I know how it feels to be very self-conscious. I was one for a while and realized it’s because I was surrounding myself with the wrong people. It’s important that you be yourself because you get that sense of satisfaction of being real. I’m the type who can be overly quiet in social situations – it’s such a drag because I feel like I could’ve been at home instead @__@.

    Nancy โ™ฅ

    1. Hahah, omg I totally relate to the โ€˜being at homeโ€™ part! I do need to work on surrounding myself with people i can completely be myself around! Xx

  12. I remember always being self concious from a wrong and still can be at times. I’ve were always labelled as the shy girl, which isn’t even a word I would use to describe myself with. I’m just not as loud or out going in some social situations.

  13. Very lovely and brave post discussing this!!
    I go through phases of being more confident and other times being so self-conscious and feeling like I can’t express my true self! A few of your points definitely related with me strongly!
    Thank you for sharing!

    Claire xxx

    1. Thank you for reading lovely!
      Itโ€™s crazy to see how many people can relate to this!!๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ

  14. I feel as though this is something everyone sturggles with at one point or another. I used to and then I basically say “F*** it” and just started to not care what people thought about me. It’s best just to be yourself and then you eventually find out exactly who you are and you love it!

    Lex | The Lady on Lexington Street

    1. Yesss! Ah I would love to say that and just be myself and I have actually true it but something keeps holding me back! Definitely working on it!
      Thanks for reading lovely! xx

  15. I relate to you on so many levels. I always get social awkward with people because I automatically think they’re judging me. I am not a loud person or super talkative and I don’t need the spotlight on me but sometimes if I’m not communicating people think I’m being rude, insecure or shy, which is not the case. I think we just have to get out of our heads and focus on the people we call family and friends and know that they’re not looking down on us, just remember that unconditional love is there with them, which makes it easier for us to be ourselves โค๏ธ

    Natonya |

    1. Yesss! I mean I donโ€™t blame because maybe I do come off as rude but itโ€™s frustrating because itโ€™s all in my head! Thanks for reading and sharing your side! ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜˜

  16. I totally understand how you feel! I also didn’t think the post sounded depressive and instead I would describe it as very honest! I really admire you for writing this post as being overly self consious is something I 100% struggle with and still have a hard time coming up with the words to describe it. keep going girl you have got this! x Brynn

    1. Awww thanks so much! That means a lot to me!
      I donโ€™t share much personal posts here on my blog so felt weird doing that for the first time but comment like yours keep me going! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

  17. I really appreciate when people can open up and talk about their issues because honestly I connect with people so much more when they are vulnerable, because I’m very vulnerable too. I am so much like this it’s crazy. I totally act accordingly to whom I am with, and sometimes I look in the mirror and say “who is this girl?” So just know you’re so not alone! Thank you so much for opening up Huda. I loved this so much.

    1. Aww, you donโ€™t know how much this means to me!
      I feel the same way, and you are right- love it when people open up because I feel that I know them on a deeper level which is always great!
      Thanks for reading Kayla! ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

  18. Aw thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable in this post! You can tell from all the comments that you are extremely relatable!
    I don’t have the level of self-consciousness you do, but I still relate. Moving between countries and cultures growing but I would be so quiet and reserved, watching and learning and just trying to be a cultural chameleon in social settings. It’s sad because I still can’t really open up and just ‘be myself’ fully easily with most people. I wish others could see who I am with those really close to me, but its not easy to force it.

    Love the post, you go girl! Keep being so brave and amazing.

    Lauren //

    1. Thank you so much Lauren! ๐Ÿ˜˜
      Itโ€™s honestly crazy to see the amount of people who can relate!
      Even for those like you who donโ€™t feel it at an extreme level, I know how frustrating it can be!
      Hope we can work on it and become more confident and brave! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’•

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